What "is" Family

We take time every day to look at people, but we never stop to wonder what makes them special. We have people in our lives every day from those we interact with at the local Starbucks to those we work with. We also have those we feel are important people in our lives. These people are friends, neighbors, and family members. How often do we consider our friends our family or family to be non family. If we are family are we honestly that close to one another or are we just saying that because it makes us feel good to be loved by someone.

Family's have bonds, from brother hood/ sister hood to husband and wife, from Father son, and Mother daughter. Is it ever OK to say that ones bond is less or more then another. If you knew that your sibling was struggling or green around the ears when it comes to life challenging decisions would you let them sink or continue to help be there for them and give them guidance. Better yet would be giving them guidance be breaking the rules that some may say that only a mother and a father should be giving advice on. Is it ever appropriate to feel that its OK to stand back and let our loved ones lose out on opportunities because better things come our way.

I know it depends on the situations and I am sure that people have mixed feelings. I just can not rationalize with someone saying that the bond of brother-hood is the same as someone being seen as a "STEP CHILD". Yes family can make stupid decisions, should we not be there for them to say HEY WTH were you thinking??? There is a time when you would feel people should grow up and control their emotions. Would it be fair to trash someones relationship because they play a role in ones life. Would you leave a family member behind knowing that they would be lonely, have no friends or family around, or would you invite them to bigger opportunities if it allowed.

I am 35yr educated and successful person, who loves my family very much. I have a bond with my children, wife, and family. I am not one who would leave anyone behind that is a family member just because others feel its not normal. I have a brother who lives here in Texas with me. No other family members here. I maybe going to Grad school with our with out my wife and kids, depending on the situation financially (which will be a decision made between my wife and I and none other. I would come home every break, Thx giving Xmas, Spring Break.. Etc... I have invited my brother to go with me(which I feel would help financially) but it has been said to me that I should go with out him. I was dumbfounded to hear that its not normal for brothers to look out for one another in the way I look out for him. My brother doesn't get the guidance the same from his mom and dad or other siblings as he does for me. Sure he could go live with other family or even stay here. I have talked to him and he said if I move he didn't want to stay in Texas by himself. So me thinking I am smart, felt financially he could help pay the rent since I will only be working part time. However it sparked controversy with another that I am not being a brother to him that I am being a father figure to him and to leave him behind and let him do what he is going to do. It made me sick and I honestly can not believe that someone is going to trash brother hood for my desire to tak him with me. I just do not understand why people feel the way they do and how that affects them personally if I was take him. Its not like it puts their life on hold, and its not like he is having to live with them if I go with out him.

Is it fair to be told I don't care about ones feelings because I do not see it the way they do. I look at the big picture here. I will look at it in such a way that my wife and "I" will be able to make it while we are apart from one another "IF THAT'S WHAT WE DO". We already know that financially it would be better for her to stay here and have her mom move in with her and the kids so she can keep her job which pays good money and has many perks.. If we went with the family, we now have daycare expense, she has to find a regular full time job which will make much less then she makes now because of the type of job she has, and rent would be much more for 4 then it would be for 2.


People work across the nation from one another and live separately to accomplish goals for short periods of time. Who is to say that we can't do it successfully. I love my wife and children more then life. However I also want to capitalize off the best situation as possible. I just know what family is and what it is not. Family doesn't turn its back on another regardless and Family is about helping everyone become better, whether it be work, friends, school, and or building upon our own relationships. I was raised different then others may have been and I just do not feel that its wrong to want a family member to go with me if my wife and kids are staying with mom-inlaw.